A Prequel to Southland Tales? Yes, Please!

Despite Southland Tales being panned by critics and doing terribly at the box office, it remains one of my favorite movies of the last 5 years (maybe even decade). I love the bizzare casting choices, the incoherence of the story, the over-the-top characters, and the pointlessness of it all. The plot twists and turns and leaves you staring at the screen with a cartoonish question mark floating above your head half the time. This is enhanced by the fact that the movie follows several characters and subplots at once and constantly bounces from one genre to another. It is as if several movies worth of information and images have been cramped into one messy epic. My advice is: go against your insticts. If you can accept the fact that you won’t be able to grasp and understand everything (anything?) this movie throws your way, you are in for an incredibly fun ride.

But I digress. You may or may not be aware that the movie is actually the second part of a longer saga. There are three graphic novels that act as prequels to the movie and should make it easier to understand the plot. And now it seems Richard Kelly really, really wants to film a prequel based on the novels which were originally based on his script. Also, there is a fictional script within the novels and the movie which he also plans to bring to life as a part of the prequel. How will he do that? By going into the main character’s mind as he reads the script and have the same actors portray the characters in it. Confused yet? Get used to it.

Anyway, I read the novels and they do clear up a few questions, but they do not make the movie any better (because it is already awesome) and I do not see how adapting them to the screen will help change the minds of all the people that hated it.
Nevertheless, if Kelly can pull this off and make it as visually enjoyable and entertaining as the original, I say go for it. I’ll be waiting.

Hugh Jackman Yelling at Some Robots

Hugh Jackman and robots!? … Don’t get your hopes up, it’s not an awesome Wolverine sequel. It is actually the upcoming feature film, Real Steel, where Hugh Jackman plays a washed-up fighter who gets a chance at a comeback by being a coach to a robot. So it’s just like Million Dollar Baby except with robots and brain damage. Let’s watch the trailer:

Is it just me, or is this trailer taking itself waaaay too seriously? I mean this is basically a movie adaptation of the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots toy.

The only thing missing is a Wolverine action figure to cheer them on.

And the really sad news? There are actually plans to make an official Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots movie. Granted, “robots fighting” is really not such a bad idea. It is a scientific fact (which I just made up) that 90% of the internet people loves robots, while the other (smarter) 10 % fears them. So the real question to be asked here is: why do all these movies suck so hard?

The New “Derezzed” Video Features Light…horses?

This video for the first Daft Punk’s single, “Derezzed” looks equally awesome as the previously posted video featuring clips from the upcoming Tron Legacy. I’m still not sure I like the song though.

A guide to wasting time online: Webcomics 101 (The Perry Bible Fellowship)

The Perry Bible Felllowship is a festival of bizzare, dark humor. Each comic stands on its own and features completely different characters doing completely different things. The style ranges from basic doughy characters, which coul be a part of a (horrifying) children’s book, to a variety of pretty awesome artwork. The comics are either completely random or downright awful, yet each of them humorous. Either way, you might not want to go there if you are easily offended.

Similarly disturbing and hilarious but more pop-culture oriented and not as well drawn: Space Avalanche

Upcoming Movies I Might Consider Watching … pt2

Sucker Punch

Zack Snyder’s new “visual masterpiece”. The whole thing seems to boil down to hot girls dressed in leather, wielding guns and swords and fighting a bunch of nazis, robots, dragons and a giant samurai with a minigun (!?). Then again, I guess I like to watch hot girls dressed in leather, wielding guns and swords and fighting a bunch of nazis, robots, dragons and a giant samurai with a minigun. I mean, come on, who doesn’t?

Paul

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (loved loved LOVED both Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) star as two sci-fi geeks who encounter an alien while traveling through America. The movie is directed by Greg Mottola (Superbad is a pretty funny movie) and Paul the alien is voiced by Seth Rogen (he ummm, has… a funny voice I guess?, just kidding, Pineapple Express!!!) Admittedly, this sounds pretty awesome. On the other hand, the trailer was a bit dissapointing. It might just be me expecting too much. Judge it yourself.

Your Highness

It is still not clear to me how it is possible that I have not heard of this movie until only a week ago when the trailer was released. It’s directed by David Gordon Green and it stars James Franco, Danny McBride and a pot smoking puppet. It is basically Pineapple Express set in the middle ages. There is no Seth Rogen but there is Natalie Portman and Zooey Deschanel, so I think we’ll be ok. (Be advised, it’s a red band trailer)

 

Harry Potter and the Identity Crisis

Here is a video of Judd Apatow interviewing Daniel Radcliffe Harry Potter about playing the character of Harry Potter Daniel Radcliffe.

A guide to wasting time online: Webcomics 101 (DM of the Rings)

DM of the Rings

In order to enjoy this one you need to be a bit of a geek. You need to have seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy (which I automatically assume everyone has) and you need to at least know what D&D is and be aware of what a D&D session entails. If you meet these criteria, this comic is a goldmine of geeky humor. If you don’t, you need not even start reading. The premise is that the characters from LOTR are actually characters roleplayed by nerds during a real D&D session (with a tedious DM and everything). The comic is in fact created out of screenshots from the movie which makes it all the more fun (just pay attention to the characters’ faces). The story kicks off somewhere around the middle of the first movie and, admitedly, isn’t hilarious for the first couple of panels. But it gets better and better with each post. For bonus fun, read what the creator, Shamus Young, has to share after each panel. Most of the time it will either be genuinely useful, fun advice for aspiring DMs or a funny self-deprecating joke about D&D nerds.



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Similar to this but not as entertaining: The Order of the Stick and Looking for Group are both D&D related comics which I tried reading. They were funny for a while but then the jokes just sort of ran dry and the plot took over and I guess I got bored.

Upcoming Movies I Might Consider Watching … pt1

There is a sea of crap that spills out of Hollywood onto our big screens every single year. Thus, not so long ago, I decided to cross the cinema off my list of things I spend my money on. There was no way I’m giving my money to Michael Bay so he can make more giant racist robots movies or to whoever it is that made those 17 Saw movies so he can make another 17 of them. However, as any other bad habit, this one is also difficult to kick. So, I ended up just substantially cutting down on the number of movies I see. I now spend my money only on movies that really catch my attention for some reason or another. Movies like the upcoming:

Tron Legacy

It is a sequel to Tron, it is scored by Daft Punk… That’s it, that’s my argument. That there is the perfect combination. And it isn’t like they didn’t know that. Half the marketing campaign of this movie rested on Daft Punk. It might suck, I might leave the theater dissapointed, but I’m seeing it and that’s that.

127 Hours

Danny Boyle’s new movie based on the true story of Aron Ralston, a mountain climber who became trapped under a boulder and had to cut off his hand with a dull knife. How uplifting. It stars James Franco, and most of the movie seems to be just his face talking at the camera. It also has “Give me an Oscar” written all over it so I’m not entirely sure if I’m going to see in or not, but I do like James Franco and I am interested how this movie will play out.

True Grit

Another movie gunning for Oscars, this Coens’ remake of the 1969 John Wayne movie stars Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin. Me wanting to see this movie is mostly based on the fact that I like the Coen brothers. I like pretty much all of their movies. The Big Lebowsky is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen and A Serious Man is definitely THE most depressing movie I have ever seen. Fargo, Oh Brother…, No Country for Old Men, even Burn After Reading; funny, chilling or depressing, they are all on my “good” list (not The Ladykillers though).

Oh, and the trailer looks really nice:

Wow, so much grit…

A guide to wasting time online: Webcomics 101 (White Ninja)

Webcomics. They are just like regular comics, just on the web. That being said, in the next couple of posts I’m going to go through some of my favorites. Let’s kick it off with:

White Ninja Comics:

This one is really bizzare and it requires a specific sense of humor. It is basically a collection of randomness, all featuring the titular White Ninja. He is a mildly retarded character who often acts inappropriately, converses with animals and inanimate objects, abuses people (and animals and inanimate objects), and finds himself in all kinds of inexplicable situations. It sort of looks like it was drawn by a 10-year-old, but that’s a part of its charm (since it also sort of reads like it was written by a 10-year-old). There’s really a ton of these and it updates three times a week (Mon, Wed, Fri). There is no plot or consistency whatsoever so feel free to browse through these however you want.

Sort of similar to this and also worth checking out: Antics

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Kanye West – A Real Life Tracy Jordan

A while back I came accross this internet meme where you add “Liz Lemon” to Kanye West’s tweets and make them sound like something Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock would blurt out. Well, I say this works perfectly well even without the “Liz Lemon” part. Here are 5 Tracy’s quotes and 5 Kanye’s tweets. See if You can tell them apart:

I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek.

I got the best leather pants collection since the 80’s.

There’s no link between diabetes and diet. That’s a white myth.

I was just thinking about how weird it is that we eat birds.

Sometimes I get emotional over fonts.

I want to edit a film on a boat. Where are the good editing boats?

I have a wolfdog, and I have two bad knees and I have a gun. That I lost!

Do you know where to find marble conference tables? I’m looking to have a conference… Not until I get the table though.

I have so much energy, my hand keeps dancing.

Remember the museum plastic spaceship toys that were molded in front of you? Those use to smell awesome!

I know, right? Even I’m not sure anymore, and I just compiled that list moments ago.

Moreover, this is a video of Kanye’s less than stellar moments in media. Based on that, it is safe to assume that this is not far from how Kanye acts in real life. For even more Kanye West wisdom check out Dan O’Brien’s great article in which he asks (and pretty much answers) the question we should all be asking ourselves: What if Kanye West is retarded?